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        Read This Before CPS(Child Protective  Services) Arrest You!

Read this before CPS arrest you!  Yes Child Protective Services is a real threat for all parents with school age children.  Further more there are a lot parents that have gone through this drama and are going through this devastating drama as I write this blog.

Let me first ask you…

  • Do you discipline your child?
    Have you ever scolled your child?
    How do you discipline your young one in public and why?
    Do you spank your child?Would you deny them of something as a way of punishing them?

All of us can answer yes to at least one of the above questions. Therfore we can consider ourselves one of the lucky ones that got away with disciplining our child/children.  After all we are their mother and father with the freedom to guide our children as we see fit right?  Right.

As a parenting guide and a mother of four, I know first hand that most parents wouldn’t dream of physically abusing their son/daughter.  That being said most of us have employed some form of punishment to teach our child/children the consequences of their action or words.  Furthermore to establish our authority and leadership for their lives.  In other words we-the parents must teach our children that they are to obey, listen and cooperate with us because its in their best interest whether they understand this or not.
However a lot of parents are afraid to discipline their school age children.  Whether it be in the home and/or in public.  Coupled with fear of disciplining their children who are not yet of school age in public.  So what happened to being the authority of our children and the leader in our households?

Hmmm lets see….

                                 Are you afraid to discipline your child in public?

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios that happens to parents on a daily basis.
There was a woman on a city transit with her 3 year old daughter.  The child was acting out and so the mother put the child in her lap and proceeded to tell the child to stop and tapped her mouth several times.  There wasn’t any bruises nor bleeding, she was attempting to disarm this behavior with little embarrassment and short discipline.  A person on the bus saw this and called CPS on the mother.  So two stops later the authorities got on the bus to escort the mother and child off for questioning.

Are you afraid to discipline your child at home because of what may happen if they told their school?

There was a child whom went to school still upset at the punishment he received from his father the evening before.  Upon being questioned by the teacher as to what is bothering him, he then told the teacher his father spanked him after she called him about his behavior.  The immediately called the principle and school counselor and they began to question this child.  After awhile CPS was called and the father was arrested for abuse.
And there are countless cases such as these happening to parents around the country on a daily basis.  Moreover the disappointing factor in most if not all of these scenarios is the child has no real understanding of the unnecessary trouble he/she is causing to their parents.
Not to mention that most children are very sad if not devastated when their parents are taken to jail.  Likewise they are very confused and upset when being displaced from their homes by the county officials into someone else’s care.   Not only are the parents very upset at being treated as a criminal, as a result of this drama they now have a criminal record!  Furthermore the child/children are very befuddled unable to ascertain how it all happend.  To say nothing of the feelings of guilt with the son/daughter because somewhere in side they know it started due to talking with their teacher.

I was pondering…

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                 Are the authorities on your side or against you-the parent?

Did you know that there are countless of parents that have been and are still being arrested from being falsely accused by their son/daughter? Yep.
When I was growing up corporal punishment as they call it now, we called get a spanking and if you’re from the south it was called a whooping was a normal way to discipline your child/children.  As a matter of fact it was encouraged! And for the most part most of us grew up with much respect for our parents.  And yes a little rightly placed fear, which in turn caused us to respect outside authorities as well.

That being said we are seeing a total opposite happening in our society.  Consequently this has led to parents not having much authority in their households and very little control over their child/children.  Moreover this type of punishment is discouraged and for the most part it seems any type of disciplines are looked upon as dislikable.
With this in mind many parents are finding it very difficult if not fearful of disciplining their children.  Coupled with the fear of upsetting them! Because it only takes the child/children to say something against their mother/father and the authorities along with CPS will be at their door step.  Even if the complaint from the son/daughter is not true an investigation into the parent’s life is likely to happen.

You see what’s happening here?

By the same token any person that is able to see any type of punishment he/she deems inappropriate by their own opinions can cause a disruption in the family’s home.  Therefore rendering that mother/father powerless and possibly imprisoned.  As a result ruining the financial stability and livelihood for the child/children not to mention possibly loosing all that the parents worked for.  Thus leaving the family devastated, separated, angry, sad and home less.
Meanwhile in both cases the son/daughter and outside observer have no idea the trauma, that is taken place for the parent.  For instance being ruffed up, finger printed, mug shot and put into a jail cell.  And all this can occur without the parent knowing why or what happened!
Soooo I can’t discipline my child/children…I’m afraid to upset them. What do I do?
Take back your parenting authority and leadership in your home with no fear.

Let me explain….

First with preschoolers, the discipline has to be consistent without hesitation.
I remember being at someone’s house, I won’t mention their name for privacy. I was doing homework for a college paper and the 3 year old son got a hold of one of my papers wouldn’t give it to me and ripped it.  His mother told him to give it to me with a stern voice and the child refused.  She then picked him up  placed him on her lap and begin to spank him  demanding that he tell me he is sorry.  He was stubborn and she kept this up only being sure to spank his buttocks until he said he was sorry.

Now for some of you this you wouldn’t agree with, however she broke him and established her authority.  He also learned that there are consequences to his actions and disobedience.  See she didn’t go crazy on him, she didn’t hit him with her fist, slap him, kick him, she was very civilized, even calm and yet stern.  The amazing thing was he even understood why he was being punished!

When you do this correctly and when it should be done, you will not have to use this type of discipline ever again.  Notwithstanding far and few in between.
Next as they get older and can understand concepts other disciplines can be used.  Such as privileges being taken away, not allowed to take advantage of certain opportunities or devices being taken away, etc.  However the main way to establish your parenting authority is having conversations with your son/daughter.
In other words talk about Child Protective Services (CPS).  Explain that CPS is there because their are parents that abuse their children because they don’t love them.  And then explain what abuse is. Tell them what happens should they:

  • Call the police on you.
    Talk to their teacher about them being upset without you being there.
    Ask them if this is what they want to happen to their family? To you?
    Give them a visual by means of YouTube.

I remember when my oldest came to me and was asking about an official that had come to her school.  This person explained to the students which included her that she can call the police on me if I discipline her.

I sat her down and explained how I take care of her, how much I love her, and what will happen to me should she do that. I then asked her who will take care of her and her siblings while I’m in jail and who will feed her and keep the house.   In like manner I continued with this line of questioning as well as asking her how she would feel should she do this and these things happen to us.
She understood and that was the end of that. Needless to say she never brought that up again.  Also keep in mind I had already established an open communication, trust and bond with my daughter starting as a baby.  And I will help you do the same.

In conclusion that scenario taught me to always be in communication with my children.  To know my rights as a parent with the school system and in general.   Also to never show fear of anyone to my children, especially if it is a threat to our family that puts them as a winner.
If this sounds like you or someone you know.  I would love to help. Be sure to have them book a 45 minute session with me.

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